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With effort and determination, he’s managed to ditch the snap, crackle and pop

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4 months ago

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With effort and determination, he’s managed to ditch the snap, crackle and pop

Irv Oslin
 |  Special to Ashland Times-Gazette

After paddling the Mahoning River with the Simpkins family earlier this summer, Travis Simpkins said it inspired him to see an old coot like me still getting out there, canoeing, bushwhacking and lugging boats around.

I must admit that, at 72, I’m in better shape than I’ve been in years. I owe that to addiction.

I revealed in a column last year that I’d confronted my lifelong addiction to alcohol. I stopped drinking in September. After four months of sobriety I realized I was still addicted. Not to alcohol but to my “smartphone.” That and social media in general.

So I went online − ironically enough − and found a self-help book: “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price.

In the first half of the book, Price takes you on an in-depth tour of cellphone, social media and screen addiction − how they’re designed to hook you and how they turn your brain and body into mush. In the second half, she lays out a 30-day program to help you get your addiction under control.

That includes a section on how to take back control of your body.

“Most of us weren’t very good at mind–body integration even before smartphones came into the picture − and with every screen we add to our lives, we’re only getting worse,” Price wrote. “So today, make some time to get back in touch with your body by doing something physical and enjoyable − a chance to remember you are more than a brain sitting on top of a body.”

He’s managed to ditch the snap, crackle and pop

So I started walking more and eventually added a morning exercise routine to limber up and strengthen core muscles.

My new exercise regimen evolved from things I’d done in the past, mostly as rehab from lower back issues and knee and ankle injuries. (Face it, after a certain age, life becomes rehab.) My exercise program includes crunches and other stomach muscle exercises, yoga poses, leg lifts and various stretches to limber up the joints. Now, when I move about, I no longer sound like a bowl of Rice Crispies after you’ve poured milk on them.

I’m not ashamed to admit I learned a lot of those exercises from the original “Buns of Steel” video. I used to joke that I did the exercises so I could crack walnuts with my bum to entertain campmates around the fire. In reality, Greg Smithey’s buttocks-centered exercise program does wonders for strengthening the muscles that support the lower back.

The bottom line − no pun intended − is the piddling amount of money I spent on the “Buns of Steel” video turned out to be a lot cheaper than back surgery.

He has the feeling exercise is paying off

For more on Smithey, check out Heather Radke’s article in’ Slate’ titled  “The Odd Genius Behind Buns of Steel.” From her article, you get the impression Smithey, a  talented pole vaulter, was as good at stretching the truth as he was at stretching body parts. But what would you expect from a guy who billed himself as Dr. Buns, professor of bunology?

He has every right to be cheeky.

So far, my new exercise regimen has paid off. That and abstinence from alcohol. The occasional numbness in my feet, hands and brain have all but disappeared. I’m stronger and no longer feel fatigued much of the time.

Not bad for a man my age. But I have a few big canoe trips coming up, including one to the Boundary Waters with the Simpkins family. This will entail a certain amount of portaging. If I’m to keep up with the Simpkins, I need to up my game. Time to add a few endurance exercises.

Perhaps my training regimen will include hoisting a canoe over my head a few times a week and doing wind sprints around the yard.

Don’t be surprised if, in the near future, you see a guy with a canoe on his shoulders trotting up and down the back side of Pleasant Hill Dam. Let me know who it is because it sure won’t be me.

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