Phillies 6, Cubs 4: This space intentionally left blank

I thought about it, really I did.

What is the “it” I thought about?

I thought about coming here, saying “The Cubs lost to the Phillies 6-4,” noting tonight’s starters, and saying “That’s all I’ve got.”

But you deserve more than that, and so, you shall get … well, a recap of sorts, there’s not a whole lot to tell about this game that you haven’t already heard dozens of times this year.

Lack of offense? Check, at one point 16 straight Cubs went down.

The lineup looking the same? Check, I will never understand this. There is often too much made of lineup selection, but why Craig Counsell refuses to shake things up, just once, just to do it, I don’t get it. Joe Maddon would have done it. Even David Ross probably would have done it. I wish one of the beat writers would ask Counsell about this.

The traditional home run off Hayden Wesneski? Check, two of them, in fact.

You know, it would almost be more fun if the Cubs lost by some ridiculous score like 19-4. Then I could have some real fun with the game recap. (Fun fact: The Cubs have never lost a game 19-4.) There’s no fun from this game. Well, there was a bit, just a bit, and I’ll get to that.

The Phillies’ first two runs off Wesneski came on the sorts of hits that happen to a good team playing… whatever this Cubs team is. A walk. A double that bounced just out of reach of Michael Busch. Another double just barely out of the reach of Christopher Morel (and no, not even a Gold Glove third baseman stops that ball).

So it’s 2-0 and feels like the game is almost over, and it’s only the second inning. The obligatory home run off Wesneski came in the third, hit by Trea Turner.

The Cubs managed a run in the bottom of the third to counter that one. Tomas Nido led off with a walk and was forced at second base by Nico Hoerner.

One out later, Cody Bellinger doubled in Nico [VIDEO].

Bellinger, my friends, represented the last Cubs baserunner until the ninth inning. Sixteen straight Cub hitters stood at the plate after that, sixteen straight Cubs made outs.

Meanwhile, the Phillies went about increasing their lead. In the fifth, Bryson Storr led off with a single and then Turner hit a ball halfway to Evanston for his second homer of the game.

Well, maybe not quite Evanston but… a long, long way [VIDEO].

If you’re counting — and you’re probably not but I am because that’s kind of what I’m here for — Wesneski has now allowed 10 home runs in his last 20⅔ innings, during which time he’s compiled a 7.40 ERA. Oh, and also a 1.596 WHIP and 13 walks. What exactly are the Cubs doing here? Conducting class on how not to pitch? Why is Wesneski on this roster and not at Triple-A Iowa working on how to fix this? This Iowa roster should answer those questions. There just isn’t anyone else.

Sigh. I’ve been sighing a lot in these recaps, if you haven’t noticed.

It’s 5-1 now, the Phillies made it 6-1 off Colten Brewer in the seventh and again, why is Brewer still on this team? Oh, right, that Iowa roster thing again. The Cubs did get scoreless relief innings from Ethan Roberts and Jorge Lopez, so, yay?

Now it’s the bottom of the ninth, 16 straight Cubs have been retired, about half the crowd has left and I’m anticipating a quick exit.

That’s when the Cubs briefly woke up. Michael Busch beat out an infield hit and Bellinger singled to right.

Seiya Suzuki then deposited a baseball into the bleachers [VIDEO].

From BCB’s JohnW53:

Seiya Suzuki’s three-run, ninth-inning homer was the Cubs’ 1,000th at night at Wrigley Field, in their 906th official game under the lights since they were installed in 1988.

Milestone, reached!

So am I saying there was a chance for the Cubs to make some sort of miracle comeback? I suppose there was, but come on, you have seen this film before. The Phillies called on Jeff Hoffman, and he quickly dispatched the next three Cubs to end the game.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.

The teams will play again Wednesday evening at Wrigley Field. Shōta Imanaga will start for the Cubs and Zack Wheeler will go for the Phillies. Game time is again 7:05 p.m. CT and TV coverage will be via Marquee Sports Network (and MLB Network outside the Cubs and Phillies market territories).