How to find your personal style: a midlife masterclass

There are lots of reasons why we lose sight of our personal style; motherhood, divorce, change in body shape, getting older, switch of career, retirement… whatever the reason, it’s rarely intentional. It’s often something that happens slowly over time when your sense of style and fashion identity slips through the cracks, but reinventing your style is not about buying lots of new “trendier” items, it’s about what your clothes say about you. When you look in the mirror and your clothes stop reflecting the current YOU, or they no longer bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, it’s time to find your fashion mojo again!

How to find your style

The first step on the route to reinventing your style is to do a wardrobe detox. Why detox? I truly believe smaller wardrobes are better – we often only wear 30% of our entire wardrobe, after all. A streamlined, well-organised, perfectly curated collection of clothes you truly love which reflect the woman you are today, will bring much more joy than a jam-packed wardrobe from which you struggle to find an outfit to wear each morning. Don’t think of decluttering as a chore or a form of self-punishment, instead frame it as a gift that you’re giving to yourself.

The Three Word Method

Of course, great outfits don’t happen by magic. Even fashion directors don’t just throw clothes on and walk out of the front door. Having a kind of ‘style mantra’ in your head when you think about what you wear, really helps. But, what if you don’t have a signature look or you’re not sure what your personal style is anymore? Well, everyone is talking about ‘The Three Word Method’ from New York-based fashion stylist Allison Bornstein, where you give your style three power words, or three personal characteristics of yourself. It’s a simple theory that promises to transform your shopping habits and revolutionise the way you dress.

Celebrity inspiration

Let me explain. Kate Moss’s three words could be rock-chick, sexy and vintage. Princess of Wales’s three words might be classic, feminine and colourful. Great British Bake Off’s Prue Leith’s signature style can only be described by bold, clashy and her infamous accessories. Claudia Winkleman’s style is most definitely monochrome, glamourous and of course a little vampy.

Kate Moss

Marks and Spencer Animal Print Maxi Slip Skirt

John Lewis Leather Biker Jacket

Claudia Winkleman

Reiss Daria ruffle detial cut out blouse

MANGO Heel sock boots

I have to admit, it took me a while to think of my three words, but after flicking through the clothes in my wardrobe I saw that my favourite pieces, the ones I love to wear day-to-day which get me compliments whenever I wear them, all fit the same adjectives: graphic, utility and a feminine twist.

To determine your words, head to your wardrobe (much easier to do after a declutter). Start by thinking about what clothes make you feel happiest and the pieces that give you confidence. What garments make you feel like YOU? What items get you most compliments? Are there repeated silhouettes, fabrics or patterns? What do you wear most often? If it’s joggers or trainers, you might choose the word “sporty”. Trouser suits? Perhaps “tailored” could be one of your words.

Prue Leith

Boden Marylebone Linen Blazer

Glasses Direct Emma 2

Princess of Wales

Reiss Tie neck zip from blouse

L.K. Bennett Hedy Bouquet Print Organic Cotton Tiered Dress

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Also, acknowledge your lifestyle too. When I quizzed some of my school mum friends in the playground last week, the most popular word was “comfy”. So, next time you go shopping and you’re in the changing room asking yourself “Is this really me?” think of your three words, and if it doesn’t tick those words, put it back – because you will almost certainly never wear it!

The key to looking great isn’t being a slave to the fashion trends. Everyone can buy new “stuff” to update their wardrobe but it’s staying true to your personal style that’s key. Remember that these aren’t words for life. As your body and lifestyle change, your words may alter too and that’s fine. Just continue to be honest with the words that serve you best and you can’t go wrong.

So, what’s your style tribe? Are you a sexy rock-chick, or more of a colour clashing maximalist? If your wardrobe is in need of an update, take inspiration from these style icons and their three words.