Democrats and Republicans Are Getting Weird About ‘Hawk Tuah’ Girl

We guess not wanting to hawk tuah a 78-year-old wrinkly presidential nominee and recently convicted felon makes you a political figure now. On this episode of election-year brain rot, we find the viral Hawk Tuah girl inadvertently being made both a nemesis for Republicans and a mascot for Democrats over comments she made on Brianna Chickenfry’s Plan Bri podcast. Known for the meme where she recommended spitting on “that thang” during oral sex, Ms. Hawk Tuah, real name Hailey Welch, played a version of game Smash or Pass on a July 1 episode of the pod. The whole thing could have been pure, innocent fun until a certain former president came along. When asked if she would hawk tuah Donald Trump or nah, Welch replied in the negative. “It’s a no from me,” she told Chickenfry.

Republicans quickly seized on the Welch’s reasonable answer, believing her refusal to spit on Trump’s thang was a tacit Biden endorsement. “The degenerate Hawk Tuah girl, whose real name is Hailey Welsh, is ANTI TRUMP,” tweeted conservative columnist Laura Loomer, branding Welch a Biden supporter. She later retracted her anger when Bill Ackman reminded her that the question wasn’t about whom she was voting for in the ballot box, but about whom she would willingly spit on. “I stand corrected, @BillAckman. Upon further review, it turns out that she was only talking about whether she would perform fellatio on President Trump.”

An earnest-to-the-point-of-parody Twitter account “keeping score of President Biden’s wins,” according to its bio, said this was big news for supporters of the current commander-in-chief. “BREAKING: The Hawk Tuah girl just absolutely demolished Donald Trump saying it’s a no-go for her,” Biden’s Wins wrote in a tweet. “Retweet to make sure all Americans know Gen-Z is speaking out against Donald Trump and his radical agenda.” Mind you, Welch said not a thing about policy when she was thinking about potential hawk tuah partners. As Nene once said, it’s getting weird. The bar for political activism is in hell, sitting right down there with the bar for discourse. At least someone managed to make a good Hilary Clinton joke out of all this.