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5 things I wish I knew before becoming a dad: From a fitness coach with two kids under 5

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5 things I wish I knew before becoming a dad: From a fitness coach with two kids under 5

Mike Over
 |  Columnist

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Before welcoming my first child in 2019, I didn’t appreciate how much putting my focus and energy into my fitness and career goals would affect my parenting. Now as a dad to two kids under age 5, here are five things I wish I knew in the beginning.

Communication is everything

I never knew how hard it would be with two young kids. The biggest thing that I wish I did more was communicate, all around. 

They say kids don’t come with a user manual, and well…it’s true! 

They do come with a need for love, attention and communication, and lacking in the last one will make everything fall apart. 

Take time each week to sit and talk about needs, wants, and what went well and what didn’t. This will save a ton of potential arguments or resentment. 

If you just know where the needs are for each week, you can improve. 

Fitness can’t consume your life, because it will drain you for your role as a dad

I got caught up super easily in being a trainer, gym owner and then an online coach striving to make ends meet. I felt my only gift was to be fit, so I pushed when I knew I shouldn’t and sacrificed my energy for my own selfish needs to workout. 

If you are killing yourself in workouts, how can you expect to work a full day, then get home and have energy for your kids? 

What do they get? The scraps? Are they deserving of that? 

More from Mike Over: The ‘inner child prayer’ can help make life less hard

They model you even when you are not thinking

Don’t worry, they are always watching! You set the tone for how they will grow up, so be careful with your words, your actions and your time. 

Many parents get caught in the trap of the all-or-nothing mindset and give everything to them, leaving nothing for themselves.

This will quickly burn out any marriage, personal health and happiness. 

I found loving yourself enough first to give grace where needed will be the best thing you can do to be the ultimate version of yourself for your kids. 

When you love yourself, you respect yourself enough to set better rules, boundaries and time slots for yourself and your happiness outside of your love for your kids.

You will sacrifice friendships and trips

I was one to like getting out, going places and having fun since owning a business kept me confined. 

I am a homebody now, but I advise many new dads not to think that they will have time for all their fantasy football leagues, Sunday golf matches and poker nights.

This doesn’t mean you lose happiness, but you have to learn to find it in what matters to you at home! 

Get more involved in making fun memories with family, having game nights and going on adventures. The simplest things put the biggest smiles on my kids’ faces and it is what melts my heart more each day. 

More from Mike Over: Summer slacking got you down? Here’s how to get your whole life back in shape

Your workouts will change

If you think you can still train 90 minutes a day, go hard, hit the tanning room and juice bar daily, you are wrong. 

You need to now know your stress response is compromised. 

You will need to have shorter, compound workouts that have you in and out in 40-50 minutes.

You can’t eat poorly, and you need to worry more about recovering outside the gym than beating yourself up in the gym! 

Trust me, working and owning a business with two under 5 is not easy, but if I were to tell the upcoming dads what to do, these would be at the top of my life. 

Your health is your wealth! 

Start there and set an example!

If you want help and a way to see how you can train to hit those goals, check out my seven-day free trial! 

Mike Over is a health and fitness coach based in Chambersburg, Pa. Follow him on Instagram, @mikeoverfitness.

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